Top Ten Things NOT to Do When Divorcing

Divorce may be a very emotional and sensitive period. Avoid these typical blunders.

Anyone who has gone through a divorce will tell you that it is seldom an easy process. Tensions rise, and couples often make rash judgments in the heat of the moment.

Given the mountain of financial, practical, and emotional elements that must be worked out, it’s no surprise that so many couples make major blunders on the path to divorce. However, there are a few things you should do, or more particularly, not do, to reduce the likelihood of you regretting your selections later on.

Here are the top ten things to avoid while getting a divorce.

1. Do Not Fall Pregnant

Having a child during your divorce complicates many things and may even jeopardise your right to divorce. In November 2004, a Spokane County, Washington, court denied Shawnna Hughes, a pregnant woman, the right to divorce her violent husband. Hughes’s spouse is not the biological father of her kid. However, since Hughes fell pregnant during the divorce process, state law presumes Hughes’ husband to be the father of her child born within 300 days of her divorce. Hughes’ divorce was denied by the court because he was afraid that there would be no father to accept financial responsibility for the kid. Although many states now allow single parents the same rights as married parents, having a kid while your marriage is in question may be difficult.

2. Don’t Forget to Modify Your Will

Divorce does not automatically nullify a will. You must revise your will if you do not want your soon-to-be-ex-spouse to get the funds and privileges allocated to them in your will. A will may be rewritten at any moment. However, if you die before being granted a divorce and leave nothing to your spouse, he or she may try to collect a portion of your inheritance.

3. Don’t Rule Out Collaborative Divorce or Mediation

In a collaborative divorce, you may hire specialists like as lawyers, divorce coaches, and therapists to assist you distribute property and manage emotional stress. Some detractors of collaborative divorce say that the lawyers, divorce coaches, and therapists who participate in collaborative divorce are inexperienced and waste time and money. However, the majority of countries that use collaborative divorce have claimed that it is more cooperative and less contentious than conventional divorce.

Mediation is unique. A divorce mediator is the only third-party specialist who can assist you and your spouse in reaching an agreement. Mediation is a continuous process rather than a one-time action. Although attorneys are normally not permitted in mediation sessions, you may contact a lawyer at any moment throughout the process to ensure that you are receiving the best possible outcome.

4. Don’t Sleep With Your Attorney

It’s simple to form a bond with the one individual who is on your side. But it’s also a huge blunder. In certain areas, any sexual behaviour between an attorney and a client is prohibited. Other states let an attorney and a client who had a sexual connection before to the lawsuit to maintain their relationship. In any scenario, sleeping with your lawyer may jeopardise your attorney-client contacts since you may be charged with adultery as a result of your infidelity.

5. Don’t Blame It on the Children

To cope with divorce, children need a supporting environment. Reduce the amount of time you spend discussing the procedure. It will offer you more time to spend with them. Refocus your energies so you can attend their school and after-school activities, assist them with schoolwork, and take them to the movies or the zoo once in a while. They relax more when you are calm. Though you should feel comfortable discussing the divorce with your children, the goal of this divorce is to ease stress on you and your family.

6. Do Not Refuse to See a Psychiatrist

Seeing a therapist may help you work through the spectrum of emotions that will arise as a result of your divorce. Getting therapy before you get really sad or angry is a good idea. A therapist is more than simply someone with whom you can converse. They are also a professional who can teach you how to relax, communicate with your children, and stay cool in court. Most essential, a therapist can assist you in determining how to become self-sufficient.

7. Do Not Postpone Until After the Holidays

You already know that the holidays will not be challenging. So, why put it off?

Divorce attorneys often experience an uptick in clients before, during, and after the holidays. It’s also simpler to adjust to having an empty house before the holidays. If you wait (and argue) until the end of the season, you risk destroying all possibility of an amicable breakup and ending up settling your issues in court.

8. Do Not Ignore Taxes

In most cases, the individual who is granted custody of the children receives the home. However, the home may not be the greatest value. If you can’t pay the mortgage, taxes, and maintenance on the home, you should request an investment portfolio of comparable value instead. However, before crowning yourself king or queen of your block, keep in mind that unmarried persons are not permitted to conceal as much capital gains from taxation. Stocks may also be involved. Stocks that have recently been acquired may be more appealing since they will cost you less in capital gains taxes.

9. Don’t Make a Hasty Decision

Just because you desire to leave your marriage right away does not imply you should give up your financial stability. Make duplicates of all critical financial papers, including pension statements, tax forms, brokerage and mutual fund statements, credit card transactions, and other records. It will make you aware of what you possess and, in certain cases, what you owe.

Ascertain that you and your children will retain health insurance coverage throughout and after the divorce process. An sickness or accident might modify how property is distributed while you are still married to your spouse.

You may pursue a “uncontested” divorce if you and your spouse can reach an acceptable arrangement on your own. This will save you time as well as money in court fees.

If this is just not an option, you may choose to consult with a professional mediator or an attorney. If you decide to retain legal advice, remember to bring three items to your initial appointment with your lawyer so you can estimate what you will need once separated: a balance sheet outlining the family’s assets and obligations, an accounting sheet listing your income and spending, and your tax return.

10. Do Not Add to Your Debt

Divorce is costly. In addition to legal expenses, you will want funds to establish a new home. Though it may be tough to make ends meet, you should get used to having less right now. Keep in mind that your legal fees and court expenses may be payable before you get your first alimony payment or even your half of the marital property. While it may seem stressful at first, the independence you will have in the long run will be well worth the effort.

One Last Remark

Putting aside strong emotions in favour of collaborating with your spouse and dealing with the most difficult topics of your divorce with a cool and clear mind will undoubtedly pay off in the long run. You’ll both make smarter judgments and come away with fewer injuries as a result of the experience.