Some of the arrangements of your burial or cremation, as well as your memorial ceremony, might be a huge relief to your survivors.
Table of Contents
Questions
Why not include instructions in my will about my last rites and the disposal of my body?
Where may I leave written instructions for my last arrangements?
Why should I leave written instructions for my last rites and corpse disposition?
What information should a final arrangements paper contain?
What services can a mortuary provide?
Where can I get assistance in selecting cost-effective mortuary services and funeral arrangements?
Why should I leave written instructions for my last rites and corpse disposition?
Why not include instructions in my will about my last rites and the disposal of my body?
For one simple reason, a will is not a suitable location to convey your death and burial preferences: your will may not be found and read until several weeks after you die, well after choices must be taken. A will should be reserved for instructions on how to split and distribute your possessions, as well as, if relevant, who should care for and have custody of your children if you die while they are still young.
In virtually all states, you may use your health care directive or another written instrument to express your ultimate desires and choose someone to carry them out. Only two states compel you to mention this individual in your will: New Jersey and New Mexico.
Where may I leave written instructions for my last arrangements?
You have many alternatives for documenting your preferences and goals. If you want, you may send a brief letter to your executor and any loved ones outlining your last arrangements.
Whatever technique you pick, be sure to inform your loved ones of your intentions. If you write down what you want, tell them where the information is kept and how to get it when the time comes.
Finally, look through your plans every year or two to ensure they still match your desires. If any of the specifics of your arrangements change, please update your letter or other instructions.
Why should I leave written instructions for my last rites and corpse disposition?
If you die without leaving written instructions, state law dictates who has the authority to decide how your remains will be treated. In most jurisdictions, the following persons have the right – and the duty – to pay for the reasonable expenses of disposing of remains:
your spouse or registered domestic partner, your adult children, your parents, your next of kin, or a court-appointed public administrator.
Disputes may emerge if two or more persons — for example, the dead person’s children — share responsibility for a basic choice, such as whether a parent’s corpse should be buried or cremated. Such disagreements may be avoided if you are ready to plan ahead of time and express your preferences in writing.
Most states allow you to grant the person you designate to make health care choices for you (your “agent”) the authority to make decisions concerning your remains if you create a health care power of attorney. Even if you do this, you should leave written instructions outlining your preferences. Your health care agent is legally obligated to execute your instructions, but he or she is not obligated to pay for the arrangements; the money will come from your assets or family members who are legally obligated to pay. (See The Living Will and Power of Attorney for Health Care: An Overview for additional information on creating a health care power of attorney.)
Only two states, New Jersey and New Mexico, require you to name the person in charge of your last preparations in your will.
What information should a final arrangements paper contain?
What you add is a personal decision that will be influenced by habit, religious choice, or just your own preferences. A typical final arrangements document can contain the following items:
if you want your ashes buried or cremated the name of the mortuary or other institution in charge of burial or cremation
whether or not you want your corpse embalmed; the sort of coffin or container in which your remains will be buried or burned; and whether or not you want it to be present at any after-death ceremony
the details of any ceremony you want before the burial or cremation who your pallbearers will be if you wish to have some\s how your remains will be transported to the cemetery and gravesite\s where your remains will be buried, stored, or scattered\s the details of any ceremony you want to accompany your burial, interment, or scattering, and\s the details of any marker you want to show where your remains are buried or interred.
What services can a mortuary provide?
Most mortuaries and funeral houses are able to handle various aspects of disposing of a person’s remains. These are some examples:
retrieving the corpse from the scene of death keeping the body until it is buried or burned making preparations for burial or cremation
carrying out burial or cremation rites, preparing the corpse for burial or cremation, and arranging for the body to be transported for burial or cremation.
However, keep in mind that the prices for these services vary greatly. If cost is a key factor in your selection, you must look around.
Where can I get assistance in selecting cost-effective mortuary services and funeral arrangements?
Choosing the institution to manage your funeral is perhaps the most crucial financial last arrangement you can make. As a result, many individuals join memorial or funeral organizations, which assist them in locating local mortuaries that will treat their survivors honestly and charge affordable costs.
Members of the society are allowed to make whatever last arrangements they choose. However, most societies value basic arrangements above the pricey services often advocated by the funeral business. Each society’s offerings vary, but most organizations give information on possibilities and explain the legal laws that apply to final arrangements.
When you join a society, you will be given a form that enables you to plan for the commodities and services you want – and to get them at a set price. Many societies also act as watchdogs, ensuring that you only get and pay for the services you want.
The cost of joining these organizations is minimal – generally between $20 and $40 for a lifetime membership, however some societies levy a minor renewal fee on a regular basis.
To locate a funeral or memorial society near you, consult the yellow pages under Funeral Information and Advisory Services, or call the Funeral Consumers Alliance at 800-765-0107 or visit www.funerals.org.
You may hunt for a mortuary or funeral home on your own if you don’t want to join a society. You’ll need to do some research to identify the school that best suits your demands in terms of design, location, and pricing. However, be wary of plans that require you to pay in advance; it is preferable to put aside your own funds to cover funeral items and services.
Why should I leave written instructions for my last rites and corpse disposition?
Allowing your survivors to know your desires relieves them of the burden of making these choices at a difficult time. And many family members and friends feel that talking about these issues before of time is a huge comfort, particularly if the individual is old or in bad condition and death is imminent.
Making planning might also help you save money. For many individuals, death products and services are more expensive than everything they have purchased throughout their lives, with the exception of houses and automobiles. Costs may be kept under control with some careful comparison shopping ahead of time.